Please state your full name. [[David Ferguson|Wrong1]]
No, your full name. [[David John Thomas Ferguson|Wrong2]]
No, your FULL name.<<set $name="The Anger">> [[David "<<print $name>>" Ferguson|Loop]]
No, your FULL name.<<silently>> <<set $i=Math.random()>> <<if $i lt 1/8>> <<set $pre="Stop calling me David \"">> <<set $post="\" Ferguson">> <<elseif $i lt 2/8>> <<set $pre="If you don't stop calling me David \"">> <<set $post="\" Ferguson, I'll call the police">> <<elseif $i lt 3/8>> <<set $pre="Please, my name isn't David \"">> <<set $post="\" Ferguson">> <<elseif $i lt 4/8>> <<set $pre="I mean what kind of name is David \"">> <<set $post="\" Ferguson anyway?">> <<elseif $i lt 5/8>> <<set $pre="STOP CALLING ME DAVID \"">> <<set $post="\" FERGUSON RIGHT NOW">> <<elseif $i lt 6/8>> <<set $pre="I always wanted to be known as David \"">> <<set $post="\" Ferguson">> <<elseif $i lt 7/8>> <<set $pre="Why are you calling me David \"">> <<set $post="\" Ferguson?">> <<else>> <<set $pre="Seriously, quit calling me David \"">> <<set $post="\" Ferguson">> <<endif>> <<set $name=$pre+$name+$post>><<endsilently>> [[David "<<print $name>>" Ferguson|Loop]]
​If you look at the last two lines you can see what's actually going on here: we're picking a random pair of strings to add before and after the existing name, then printing the whole lot as part of our link text. There are 8 pairs of strings here and Math.random() returns a number between 0 and 1, so it's just a case of checking which eighth our random value falls under to decide which strings to use. The backslashes let us store " characters in the strings, which again aren't necessary but are part of the joke of this game.
Bonus: loop counters
<<silently>> <<set $visits = 0>> <<set $i = 0>> <<endsilently>>[[David Ferguson|Loop]]
<<if $i lte $visits>>David Ferguson<<set $i += 1>> <<display "Loop">><<else>><<silently>> <<set $i = 0>> <<set $visits += 1>> <<endsilently>>[[David Ferguson|Loop]] <<endif>>